christmas

Do you ever get the feeling that you just need to yell at someone? Like really, just scream every hateful thing you've ever heard at them till there's nothing left to say? Ok , that is way too dramatic. as you can see, i have learned a bit since my " help" post. but seriously: this holiday didn't have a lot of holiday cheer...unless you count getting a couple of DVD's....and a drawing set? we went to a restaurant... and well... we weren't really celebrating the joy and merriment of the holidays... we were just eating out, with the holidays as an excuse. 


what is the true meaning of the holidays?


Happy holidays, anyway. 
To those who bother to click the link above, please note Toothless... :)


K bye
PS: if you can't see the links, move your mouse over it and you'll be able to see it.

busyish?

Today I feel emotionally vulnerable. Thank goodness the day is almost over. Usually, if I feel hurt or angered I just retreat into the little shell of reclusiveness I've made for myself, and counterattack with some sarcasm against whoever inflicted the wound. But today, my shell has been rather thin and I'm finding it hard to keep everything tightly corked up. Add my lack of sleep in the past few days, which increases my irritability, and you have someone on the verge of screaming at anyone that tries to criticize them.
This has never happened before though, however many late-nighters I've pulled, and it worries me. I can't let my moodiness get in the way of the rest of my life, I've got to many things to do! Ok, so I don't really have much of a life... But still! I'll be wasting time trying to calm myself down.
And on that optimistic note, I have found that is blog is actually helping me! I can pour my soul out to people I don't know!! I'm being stalked! how awesome! I'm getting a lot more views than I'm expecting too, but I'm not exactly happy in knowing that people from Russia are (trying to) reading my posts. :|

K bye

More stats... and other stuff

Ok...I've checked my stats again.. and apparently, I'm popularish in both the US and Russia. Oh, And I have 102 views. That's somewhat disturbing. Does anyone realize this is a place for me to show the world my petty everyday problems? Русский народ, там, почему вы посмотрите на этот материал? I expect, like 20 views a month, at the very, very most. But then, I look, and I have 47 view in May, and that makes absolutely no sense. I don't even interesting write stuff on here.

Anyway, today was a good day. which probably means I shouldn't be on here right now, because I'm defeating the purpose of making this blog. Oh here comes my dear father....he seems to be terribly worked up about something...

2 minutes later
It appears that my dear mother cannot seem to make a decision as to where she is going to send me to school term after next. All of her friends and coworkers are tugging at her somewhat weak decision-making mind. One moment the Charter School, Green Hope the next, then Panther Creek, but never Enloe. I shall have to convince her that is the place to go.

K bye

Where do your parents want to send you?

I can't think of a good title right now, so.....turkeys!

Ahhhh, Thanksgiving! A time for.....wait, what are we supposed to do on thanksgiving again? give each other presents? no, that's Christmas... watch fireworks? no, that's during the summer....give each other cards? no.....that's valentine's day.....ah! I know!Give thanks to the world! of course! (I knew that all along).Anyway, I'm thankful for: How to Train Your Dragon(of course), my friends, my teachers, my parents, the library, hmmm......what else....oh, Harry Potter/J.K Rowling, the Internet, water, the planet Earth....ummm....chinchillas(cough cough), chemical reactions, and time. That's about it. What are you thankful for today, children?Comment belo--

Waaaaaiiiiiiiit a minute....that sounds waaaay too happy and enthusiastic. the guy up there sounds pretty dumb too: "what are we supposed to do on thanksgiving again?" so here's the real me. The other guy typing up there was just a stand-in, and somehow he's made it so I can't delete waht he's typed. Anyway...

Yes I am actually thankful(gasp) for all of the things listed above (double gasp). I have lots of homework i should be doing right now.We had turkey for lunch. It was good.....ummmmm.....k bye.

Oh yeah, and I'm not kidding about the commenting. What are you thankful for?

sad face

Before I took that 100 question test this morning at CCS, I didn't really think about how I feel after finishing it. I was hoping for some sort of relief.
But of course, I really just want scream my throat hoarse while banging my head on the wall til blood spurts out my ears. Pretty picture, right? I think it's because I was hoping after this, some of my worries would go away. and they haven't. None of them.  My life is the same as it was before. nothing momentous has happened. And that sucks. :(

Stats

You know I saw something interesting today. I got 47 views in May 2011. And they came from google searches. all from America. veeeeeeerrrrry interesting. In a bad way.

Stress

stress is an interesting thing. And no, It does not make you perform better. In fact, people have committed suicide because they had too much of it. personally, I think the less it matters to you, the less stress you'll have. Of course, that's all people have sometimes. But why does it matter so much to you that you get championship for your basketball team, the Quiz Bowl, an 100 on your next practice SAT test? Most of it will happen, run its course, and you'll have nothing more than aged a few months faster that you would have liked and get some sleep swindled from you.

Of course, I understand if it will change the entire course of your future, but if this isn't for real, then why worry so much? Why is it that the human beings of the first world must worry some much about things that do not matter so much in the grand scheme of things? we don't have that much of an impact on the universe, you know.

Questions

I actually wrote this a long time ago, but I've got nothing really important to say, so I'll just post this today!

I'm beginning to wonder (again) what the meaning of life is:
Men from all the ages have died thinking about that questions:
Great philosophers, scientists, religious leaders, psychologists (wait psychologists?! where'd that come from?) and many others have hypothesized
Is the meaning of life:

• to gain peace?
• the gain salvation?
• to reach nirvana?
• to live life at its fullest?
• to become enlightened?
• or to stay out of trouble?

Biologically, every living (this term is used loosely, because we're all chemical reactions)things lives to reproduce and continue the survival of its species. We humans of course have bred things so they be the best sniffers, the fastest runners, the stealthiest hunters, the steadiest workers,or the fiercest fighters. All to help us go about our daily lives of keeping the rats out, winning the next horse race , or getting our wares to the marketplace in time.Until of course, the industrial era set in and we were able to mass produce things. then we started breeding for dog shows and the Kentucky Derbies, etc.
So is survival of the fittest the best motto? I would think so, if you would take look at how dogs are bred: one dog may mate with her grandfather, whose child will mate with his cousin, whose child will mate with his great-aunt...it's down-right creepy.
Of course, the aplication of this idea would mean that your grandparents would probably be dead, and if you are a cripple, or have asthma, or heart disease, you'll probably be dead too. I'm not being biased or anything; it's true. 'Smatter of fact, I might be dead too, for all of my mopeyness and fatness. Not that I'd mind being dead. Which leads me to another question: Do you really have soul? and if you do, what happens to it after your body, the big pile of chemical reactions that serve as its container, has stopped reacting? But than agin, I suppose, the people/souls/ghosts/spirits who actually know aren't really in a condition to tell us, now are they?

So that was all I had to say. I might get an onslaught of crazy people arguing in the comments now, I hope (not)!

Cami Cazi over and out

A scientific break-thru

Now I understand why I've disliked playing violin for such a long time:
I associate violin with bad things, such as standing up for thirty minutes straight, or messing up and getting rebuked for it, and not gently. Unlike a bunch of genius instrument players out there, I fell into rhythm with violin a little late, and by that I time couldn't regain my parent's trust anyway. okay, so I do read some times in-between, but recently I've managed to wean myself off of it.

It's like the experiment where the guy got a dog to salivate at the sound of a bell:
every time the dog smelled food, it would begin to salivate. the guy would ring a bell as it was salivating.
he did that for a awhile, then, eventually, the guy took away the food and just rang the bell, and the dog still salivated.

so just like the dog's brain was programmed to salivate when food is near, my brain is programmed to wince when violin practice time is near.

that's my brilliant discovery for today!

Oh yeah, and 126 cranes! Plus, the cast for the Hunger Games movie has been decided. you can Google it.

concrete poems about platypuses

Sorry i haven't posting pplz.. EOC's holding me up
studying was like trying to put a whole boiled egg in your mouth
and now i have to work on my platypus concrete poem
ah, if that weren't enough, she wants us us to color it! who ever heard of coloring a concrete poem?
Im not even a good drawer to begin with (even though im very proud if my artwork)
But still.

114 cranes!! :D

uh-oh

I think my parents managed to find me out... either by seeing the "most visited" sites, or hacking into my email, and reading the message I sent to you guys. either way, they know it's there, and they assume/know that i'm writng crap about them, so i'm going to have to write only *shudder* nice things about them from now on. or make them assume i stopped posting stuff to begin with.

as for the daily report, things were pretty good today, althugh our butts got kicked in the soccer game,
0-7. Violin recital in a week, EOC in ten days, CCS camping in two....
also went swimming in frezing water, almost finished with owl painting... couple more weeks til school's over... gosh, so many things ending :O!

68 cranes!!  :D

help

I am a screwed idiot. my life is an insignificant pebble being thrown relentlessly at the wall of discord. and every time, little bit of me is knocked off, until ,sooner or later, there will be nothing left. school was my haven. School was where all the worry about projects, chinese homework, arguing parents and a grandmother disappeared. but it seem I have even lost that stronghold.
its all because of my stupidity and dim-wittedness that i didn't realize that the project is due on wednesday. I haven't even conceived some of the names yet. i am being swallowed up i stress.
my parents and grandmother are arguing for the most stupid reasons on the planet, and they keep picking on my little brother. this is maddening.

I think I need a therapist.

not looking

ok, so im not emotioanlly screwed today, but we did lose a soccer game (0-4) which i know Adi would love to hear about so he has something else to annoy me with. apparantly, according to our dad, our defense is weak, and our offense not aggressive enough. and i painted my scince project- big deal. interesting that nothing has happened today. Saturday is the day of interesting happenings for me. ah,well. im sure something will pop up.  :)   ttfn tatatfornow!  :)

n00bie

i am pissed (again). i cannot take out my lava on my parents cause that makes things worse. instead i'll vent here, when nobody's looking. ahhh, i feel beter already! :| that's all for my newbie post, but i'll be back for more venting... most likely....(hmmmm) tommorrow!  :D